#251 – What was the Last Thing You Cared About that You Misplaced?

…Write about what happened, with as many sentences as possible in the active voice.

I need to check the time.  I pat my pocket but I feel nothing but air.  Confusion circles my head as my hand brushes against my other pocket, only to find nothing.  I shift in my seat, reaching underneath me to check my back pockets, but still find nothing.

I fidget about in the back seat, running my hands along the cracks in the seat and floor hoping to feel my phone somewhere.  All I get in return is an equal mixture disappointment and dread.  “Is everything okay?” Someone asks me up front.  I stammer out that I can’t find my phone, and someone suggests that it might be back at the 7-11.

We turn around and head back to the store.  Even as we pull into the parking lot, I’m already out the door and jogging for the entrance.  I slip inside and move to the counter, casting my eyes about to see if my phone is there, but I don’t see anything.

There’s a lineup at the til, so I wander about the store and try to retrace my footsteps.  I go past the chips.  I go past the chocolate bars.  I even look in the pop cooler to see if I somehow put my phone behind the bottles.  At last the line has lightened and I can slip in to talk to the cashier.  I ask if anyone has turned in a phone, but they haven’t seen anything.

Defeated, I return to the car and use someone’s phone to call my own.  It goes straight to voicemail, which tells me that it’s been turned off.  I never turn my phone off and the battery wasn’t near dead, so I suspect foul play.  I mentally kick myself for losing my first cell phone in just one week.

Behind the Random: I have a bad habit of losing things at 7-11.  Wallets, bank cards, cameras, phones, keys.  It’s gotten to the point that my friends with kids have told me I am never allowed to take them to 7-11.  It’s one of the anomalies in my life.

#526 – Complete the Following Sentence…

…and keep writing:  “My First _______.”

My first beer.
Believe it or not, but I was actually legal age when I had my first beer.  That was one of the benefits of being such a loner and having no friends; I didn’t have to deal with peer pressure as much as the average teenager.  Oddly though, I started smoking at an early age…so figure that one out.

It was at my cousin’s wedding, a few weeks after my birthday.  It was a few firsts for me that night actually.  First time drinking wine.  Drunken dancing.  Offering my jacket to a cold girl.  Walking her home.  All in all, a decent night on paper.

However, this wasn’t the first time I drank alcohol.  That privilege goes back two years prior on a family camping trip.  Some of the other teens were drinking screwdrivers and offered me a few drinks.  My aunt turned a blind eye and I got to experience what most people I know call ‘Real Camping.”  Still to this day, though, I would rather have a beer on my own couch than in the middle of the woods being eaten alive by mosquitoes as I try to keep warm by a fire but not burn to death.I don’t like camping, in other words.

But I digress.  Really digress.  Wow…

Behind the Random: I realized that I haven’t talked about drinking at all in the entire time I’ve been doing this.  At least, I don’t think I have.  500+ posts is a quite a bit to keep straight.  Anyways, that was a first that I haven’t really talked about yet.  I guess it’s something I don’t think about much anymore.  I don’t drink often, maybe once a month or so, and even then not near the quantities than I used to in my younger, dumber days.  That’s growing up for you I suppose.

#316 – Write Your Will…

…explaining who gets what and your changes of mind over the years about it.

If you’re reading this, then I am already dead.  I’m sorry, I always wanted to write that.  If that is true however, then let this be my last Will and Testament.  I don’t have much in this world, but I what little I do have I want where it belongs.

To my wife, I leave all finances, including any money received for my death from life insurance.  Any and all material possessions not listed in this Testament will also be bequeathed to her to do with as she deems fit.

All of my books, I give to my stepson.  I hope they inspire him as they have me in my youth.  My only regret is many of books I read growing up I believe he would enjoy I no longer possess.

My meager art supplies will go to my stepdaughter, to foster her creativity.  It’s not much but I hope that it will be enough to encourage her love of drawing enough to discover her own style.

Finally, in the event that I was taken from this world due to the actions of someone else, I give this warning to them.  Death is not the end.  I will see them again and they will learn of what fear is.  I am not a vengeful man, but I will not allow this injustice to stand.  Let him know this and that I am coming for them.



Behind the Random: I’ve never written a Will simply because I don’t have much.  I’ve always believed in living lightly.  So this was a new experience to me.  I looked up templates and How To’s and they were all so…bland.  Boring.  Dry.  Which I suppose is how a legal document is supposed to write.  Not my style though, especially for something like this.  So I rewired it.  <cue Tim Allen grunting>

#355 – Two Paramedics Have a Patient in the Back of the Ambulance…

…The patient has only 30 minutes to live.  It could take 20 minutes or more to get to the hospital.  What’s going on in the ambulance?

“Stabilize him!” Armand shouted, struggling to keep the IV line straight as the ambulance rocked on the road, Bindy keeping them barreling across the city.  Outside, the night was interrupted with flashes of red and blue as the siren wailed loudly.  Periodically, a flash of white would fill the window   “Dammit, Roddy.  Stabilize him.”

“I’m trying, alright?!” His trainee said tersely as struggled to keep the twitching convulsing man on the stretcher.  They’d picked him up downtown, sprawled out in the middle of the intersection with limbs vibrating so hard, Roddy was half-afraid he would break them.  Loading him into the wagon was a near impossible challenge

Red speckled froth was on the corners of the man’s mouth, but no matter how many times Roddy wiped it away, more would appear.  “This doesn’t look good.  Any idea what caused this?”  He asked, his voice heavy with concern.

The old EMP vet just shook his head.  “No idea.  Could be some kind of seizure or attack.  Never seen anything like this before.”  A thick sigh escaped his lips, “We don’t hurry, we’re going to lose him.  That much I know.”

As if on cue, the wagon slowed down then stopped.  “What the hell?” Armand muttered and banged on the wall to get Bindy’s attention.  “What’s going on?”

She glanced over her shoulder, “Road jam.  Bad one.  Gonna take a few minutes.”

“Well, make yourself known and push through.  Time’s a wasting.” Armand ordered before turning his attention back to the patient.  “Someone’s not on his side today.”

The man moaned loudly, head rolling about.  A tortured whisper floated up from his throat.  “Did he just say something?” Roddy asked, shooting Armand a puzzle look.

“Ignore it and just concentrate on keeping him alive.”  Armand demanded as he looked out the window, “He’ll have plenty of time to be chatty when he gets to the hospital.”

“Cave.” The man muttered, beads of sweat appearing on his forehead as he began to convulse again with renewed severity.  The two paramedics shot each other a curious look as they both tried to restrain his flailing body.

“Cave?” Roddy asked.

“I think that’s what he said.”  Armand replied with a shrug, “Must be delusional.”

The man must have heard him because his eyes snapped open and he strained against his binds.  “Cave!  Cave!”  His voice was tinged with terror.  “Attendite me!”  He repeated over and over, muscles flexed and strained as he tried to break free.

“Whoa!” Armand cried, pushing down harder, “What’s he saying?”

Roddy cocked his head and listened to the words.  “That sounds latin.”

“You speak latin?” Armand asked incredulously.

“I took a class in college.” Roddy just replied with a shrug, “For fun.”

“Nerd.” Armand grunted with half a grin, “So what’s he saying?”

“I think he’s saying beware of him.” The younger paramedic, ignoring the verbal jab.  “Just over and over.”  Without warning, the ambulance started moving again.  Traffic around them parted and allowed the wagon through.

Armand let out a sharp huff, “This guy’s a couple fish short of a taco.”  The man was ceaseless in his stuggles.  In fact, he seemed to be getting stronger with every minute that passed.  “Something seriously wrong.  Bindy, how far are we?”

“Five minutes.  Maybe less.” She called over her shoulder, “What’s going on back there?”

Neither paramedic said anything as the continued struggling to keep the thrashing man in the stretcher.  “Venit!  Venit!” He began calling out at the top of his lungs, his skin glistening from the sweat all over him.  Another surge of strength, he managed to pull his arm free and shoved Roddy hard.  The young man hit the wall of ambulance, getting the wind knocked out of him, and slumped to the floor gasping.

“Crap!  Crap!” Armand cursed as he fought a losing battle against the bizarrely strong patient.  An iron grip closed on his Armand’s collar and hauled him close.  Armand stared in shock at the bloodshot eyes glaring madly at him.

“What is going on back there?  I’m trying to drive here!” Bindy hollered, “Two minutes.”

Armand just stared in silent horror as the man stared back at him.  In a cracked croaking voice, he gargled out “Ego autem veni.” His supernatural strength spent, he released Armand and collapsed on the stretcher.  One last rattling breath escaped his throat before his chest fell still.

The ambulance rolled to a stop and Bindy looked over her shoulder, “Alright, we’re…” then she came to a stop when she saw the two bewildered paramedics sitting there stunned with a corpse.  “What the hell happened?”

Armand found his voice first.  “You figure that out, you let me know.” He just muttered.

Behind the Random: Argh, this was not supposed to be a big ambiguous post with no real ending.  However, equal lack of time and inspiration mixed with two dashes of distraction by the kids watching Digimon (the most annoying anime I’ve had to endure yet) means be-da-be-da-be-da-be-dat’s all folks.

#134 – You Have a Dream That You Murdered Someone…

…Who is it, how and why did the murder happen, and what happened afterward?

Lost in a haze of rage, I struck without thinking.  With a meaty smack, the shadow before me fell away and landed heavily on the ground.  I felt as much as I heard the sickening crack as his head connected with the pavement.

The anger seething inside of me unabated, I stomp on the body laying before me.  Again and again, each time accompanying with a brutal yell or curse.  I kept at it until my breath was ragged and my chest burned from the exertion.

Exhaustion took over and the burning faded away with a dark heaviness.  I collapse on the ground, looking at him for the first time since the madness overtook me.  I recognized him, even caked in blood and dirt.  That patchy wiry black hair and that leathery skin, it was a face that I knew well.

It wasn’t supposed to go like this though.  I don’t know why I even sought him.  Maybe it was to find closure.  Maybe it was to face demons from my past.  Whatever the reason, I found myself at his doorstep and rapping my knuckles against the wood.

After that, it was a blur.  Words were just noise, as if I was watching a foreign movie.  In the end, I was there with his lifeless corpse.  I felt no remorse, no regret.  In fact, it was like a great wrong was finally righted.

How dare he walk around in life while my mother was gone.  If ever there was a sign of injustice, that was it.  I had done the world a service, ridding it of that filth.  A waste of flesh so corrupt, not even the worms would dare touch it.  At least the universe is a little more balanced now.

Behind the Random: This one was hard for two reasons. 

I’m not a violent person.  I prefer any violence to be on the screen or in print and, even then, only if it’s quick and/or outrageous.  I’ve never been a fan of torture or slow painful deaths.  So thinking up a murder is not an easy thing to do.  However, I’m in a sour mood today so it wasn’t as hard as it should have been.

The next tricky part was thinking of someone to kill.  I don’t carry a lot hate with me, so nobody came to mind right away.  Fortunately, I still have my fallback in my mom’s douchebag ex-boyfriend.  If there’s anyone I can even consider hating, he is definitely at the top of the list.

I kinda wish I got this one in a better, more goofy mood so I could have fun with it, but it is what it is.

And this also makes my 500th post.  142 left to go before this challenge is done and complete.  Booyah.

#156 – Irresistable Temptation

They open their mouths without thinking.
It’s like they haven’t learned at all.
Too late to fix a mistake.
As I grin and make my call.
With a smirk pulling at the corner of my mouth,
And sarcasm dripping from every word.
I cut deeply into their ego
With every syllable they heard.
Not everyone gets the punchline though
And sometimes it’s nothing or double.
Every time I open my mouth to speak
I risk getting into more trouble.
Don’t mistake my intent though,
It’s all just a joke, a gag, a gaffe.
I don’t intend to hurt anyone’s feelings
I’m just in it for a good laugh.

Behind the Random: A lot of times, I can’t help but make some comment or other.  The set up is too reach to pass up.  There have even been times that so many puns, quips, verbal jabs, and half-baked truths rush to be the first one out the door, it causes a clog leaving me unable to speak for a few minutes.  Those are the truly stupid moments in life.

#189 – Your Favorite Film

“Are you troubled by strange noises in the middle of the night?  Do you experience feelings of dread in your basement or attic?  Have you or family ever seen a spook, spectre, or ghost?  If the answer is yes, then don’t wait another minute.  Pick up the phone and call the professionals.  Ghostbusters.”

I remember the first time I saw the Ghostbusters movie.  It was 1987 and I was five years old.  By that time, I was a massive fan of the television show and watched it whenever I got a chance.  So when I was sitting at the dining room table, doodling, and my dad called me to the living room because Ghostbusters was on, I became a tiny human rocket.

When I skidded to a halt in the living room and looked at the TV, I was instantly confused.  Where was my cartoons?  This wasn’t my Ghostbusters.  However, my dad insisted that it was so I sat down to watch it.  I missed almost half the movie and came in just as they were busting Slimer at the Sedgewick Hotel.  That doesn’t matter to a 5 year old though.

I was hooked and I had to watch it again and again.  When I got it on VHS, it was my go to movie whenever I wanted to watch one.  I was able to quote the movie word for word, which I still sprinkle into my conversations now and then, and learned the song and absorbed all the little trivia facts about it.

As I grew up, my tastes and maturity changed.  Still though, Ghostbusters remained my favorite movie.  My wife actually asked me if it was just nostalgia that keeps the movie on the pedestal, but it’s not.  Gone was the childlike wonder and thrill of ghostbusting, replaced instead by an appreciation for the performances by some of my favorite 80’s actors.  Bill Murray.  Dan Aykroyd.  Ernie Hudson.  Rick Moranis.  Sigourney Weaver.  And, of course, the late great Harold Ramis.

With witty lines and likable characters and thrilling villains, it’s a movie that still stands up very well against today’s movies.  Some people relate the movie to the cartoon series, but it was never intended for kids.  That was just a happy result that ensured people like me and my fellow fans got a chance to join the Ghostbuster fanbase.

Movies have come close, some even taking a temporary place as my go to movie such as Jurassic Park and The Dark Knight, but Ghostbusters always rises back up and reclaims it’s rightful spot.

So yes, I can honestly say bustin’ makes me feel good.

Behind the Random: By far the easiest post I have had to do so far.  I don’t even need to stop and think about the answer to the question.  I don’t think I have anything to add to this.